He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
