hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
