Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
