I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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