Can i not drive my cunt home
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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