My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
