i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
