Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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