apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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