you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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