those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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