make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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