SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
