Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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