You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
