i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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