If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
