I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
