You smell like stripper and shame
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
