so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
