dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize