I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
