can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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