Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
