Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
