He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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