So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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