We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
