My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
