she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize