She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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