No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize