He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
