My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
