:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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