sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
