Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
