We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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