My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
