You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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