Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I need moral support for this bender
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
