My cat gives me a boner
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
