with your own penis?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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