Kiss
Puke
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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