Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
