dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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