Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
