Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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