That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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