When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
