That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
