New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
