My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
