Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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