Kiss
Puke
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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