maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
