goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
