Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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