Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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