i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
