I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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