Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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