I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
