What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
