She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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