Will you blow on my dice?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
