We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
