your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
