i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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