so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
