Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Randomize
