I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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