I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize