apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
