i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
