i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
COCAINE IS GR8
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize