How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
