i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
